Well it really has been a long time since the last post. I will promise to get to this on a regular basis. So what has happened since December. Well I have now moved to Sydney. I have been promoted. A wonderful lady is coming from New Zealand to live with me. I still don't know if I am healed in terms of all that has happened. I still have the fears and anxiety from the past, I just feel that I have to push through and live my life as it should be lived.
In 18 days I go to NZ to see my honey off to Europe, and I cannot help but feel a little worried. We have a long distance relationship, and she has been great. But an inferiority complex within me says that something will happen during this time and I may lose another love in my life. Things have been fantastic with her and we seem to be getting on great, but I still am waiting for that foot in mouth moment, that I will screw it up. I have been good at that in the past.
Have been working hard, probably too hard at the moment. I want to make sure that all the stuff I have to do is sorted by the time Steph comes to Sydney to live. There is so much to do and so little time to do it in. I am losing patience with myself as I want to make it all good, but I want to it now. I need to make sure I give Steph all the attention she deserves. It is going to be hard on her leaving her whole family behind to come and live with me. I love the thought that Steph is willing to do it for me. Having moved around from country to country, I suppose I am a bit blaise about doing it, and I have forgotten how hard it can be. I just do it now. How lucky am I?
It will be great to spend a part of each day with her, instead of weekend visits and time on the phone each day. Be able to share things and have a laugh, cry, hugs and kisses and all the things couples do. To able to have support and give support to a special person in my life. Hope this all makes sense. It does to me :-)
Back Soon.................................................................
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